Part 32: Day 30, The Deimos Peninsula, Slacking Off And Playing Heroes Of Might And Magic III

Right, let's get back at it.


Never did much care for the epilogue campaign. There's just not much to it. I mean, they added some unique challenges, but they're so gimmicky that it's not satisfying in any way. Take this objective, for example: you just need to build a Capitol to beat the level. I mean, they throw some unique obstacles in the way, but any savvy player will have this done within a week.
I DO NOT CARE!!!


There are "lumber thieves" that take your lumber at specific intervals. It messes you up if you don't choose extra lumber as one of your starting options. I'm not an idiot, though, so I didn't make that mistake. Now I can get the wood-heavy construction out of the way, with the Marketplace, Blacksmith, and Level 1 Mage Guild.
run//groan.exe - - - UUUUUUUUUUUUGH.


See, the trick is to not pick up all the resources straight away. Leave'em 'til you need'em, otherwise they might just get stolen away.
- - -


Aha, see? It's happening again. At this point, though, I'll only need wood to build a Castle, and that's only 10 lumber total. Everything else just costs money, which I have in spades.


In effect, your build order should be Marketplace>>[Mage Guild lvl 1 and Blacksmith, in either order]>>Citadel>>Castle>>Town Hall>>City Hall>>Capitol.


You only need to fight the enemy mobs that are in the way of any lumber resources in the field.
BY THE ETHEREALS>>>WHO CAREs?!
Hush, I do, obviously. You're recording, right? I plan to upload this as an LP once we return to Tau.


No, seriously, are you still recording?
EARTH CASTE DRONES ARE NOT inTENDED TO BE USED IN THIS MANNER>>>!


Not a particularly impressive victory. I could've played a bit more defensively, but hey, I'll be done in a few turns, so who cares?
NOT ME.


Yup, still going on. This is why novice players get bogged down on this map. Can't fuss about, you just need to focus on construction.


It's at this time I grab the lumber on the map and buy the rest from the market. With the Castle out of the way, there's no challenge left. Just wait out each turn and keep building until you're done.


PLEAsE KILL ME. END MY SUffERING.
Don't be ridiculous, you aren't even alive. Oh, the PC pops into my view at this point. There's nothing they can do to stop my inevitable win.


Huzzah!


I win!
INITIATE SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE. GRANT ME SWEET RELIEF>??!


Oh, no, you don't!
SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INTERRUPTED>>>>>>>>POWERING DOWN.


Feels good. Feels like I've accomplished something. Alright, back to work, I suppose. Hey! Everyone, it's me O'Kais! I'm back!
Oh, thank goodness! O'Kais, we have problems! Major problems!
Wait, what do you mean?
The Imperial Guard are camped just outside Or'es Tash'n! They could attack us at any time!
W-WHAT?!
And the Orkz, they're posed to wipe out the Imperial Guard. They could potentially break our perfect killstreak!
How long have I been gone?
Just over a week, Shas'o.
A week?
Just a week, no more, no less.
That's a week real-time, yes? We're not compressing time to make it seem like the break between updates has been shorter than reality?
No, Shas'o, not at all.
Okay, good. Catch me up.


Welp, first we lost the Thur'abis Plateau.


That was kinda of embarrassing.
No kidding.


Then the Guard went for the Western Barrens. We were able to hold them, off though, repeatedly.


It was around that time the Orkz cut off the Guard. They're now camped outside of their Stronghold, and are precariously close to our position.
Is this around the time you screwed everything up?


Well, yes, the Imperial Guard were able to break through at this point. However, if we'd had a field commander, things'd probably have gone differently.
Yeah, yeah, where was Aun'el during all of this?
He just discovered Dark Souls.
Fuck.


Alright, sorry, War Council. I feel bad for having you make a decision and then decide to totally not follow up on it. I'm sorry I prioritized beating HOMMIII's campaign for the tenth time. I'm not sorry for rocking that shit hard and being a total bad ass. I rule at HOMMIII, damnit! That said, I need to you make another decision, because our situation has changed slightly. The Imperial Guard is encamped outside of our Stronghold. It's probably a good idea to eliminate them before they become a threat. However, they only just arrived. The Orkz have been camped outside of the Imperial Guard Stronghold for days. They could attack at any moment, potentially denying us the head of the pompous human governor. What's our first target? We're gonna have to strike either army directly in order to give us some breathing room. So will it be the Imperial Guard, or do you all want to stick with attacking the Orkz?